{"id":1520,"date":"2020-04-10T00:33:28","date_gmt":"2020-04-10T00:33:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/?p=1520"},"modified":"2023-09-09T05:24:34","modified_gmt":"2023-09-09T05:24:34","slug":"day-21","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/day-21\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 21"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Written 9 April, 202<\/strong>0.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92824342_225721671970987_2818729475213099008_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1542 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92824342_225721671970987_2818729475213099008_n-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92824342_225721671970987_2818729475213099008_n-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92824342_225721671970987_2818729475213099008_n.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Today is K\u2019s birthday. Every year on this day I have a clear memory, like a vision, of the golden champagne moment I first saw her on my tummy, on all fours or perhaps she\u2019d collapsed \u00a0after her journey down the birth canal like a dazed swimmer on a beach. In my vision, her tiny perfect back presents its sweet self to me and she\u2019s looking \u00a0short sightedly at me? me! \u00a0can she be gazing at me? me! out of an exquisite little face with a baby pointed chin. The air seems to pop in excitement, all of its own. She belongs to another world, she\u2019s trailing clouds of glory from god who was her home, and she\u2019s been suddenly ejected into this one, to her utter astonishment. And mine too, though i&#8217;d known she was coming, every second of her coming. \u00a0I try to talk to her but can\u2019t find my voice. I\u2019d read that real mums talk to babies in a high voice, intuitively knowing something. I have a go at it, this knowing mum&#8217;s high voice, wanting so much to be a proper mum, and I squeak away, but then I know that I must be authentic, right from the start I must be me, and I \u00a0give up squeaking and\u00a0 become myself as I say- what did I say? No matter. It was hardly a moment for a memorable speech. For us women, it\u2019s not only an intensely visceral moment but a hugely spiritual one. I know in that moment I\u2019ll be grateful to her for the rest of my life, and beyond. Thank you, my daughter for landing here &#8211; and still there\u2019s a whoosh of astonishment when I say those words- my daughter.<\/p>\n<p>Yesterday, someone came into the bay. A pretty little sailing boat, \u00a0not on the far side of the creek where there\u2019s a channel the fishermen use, but up close to our houses. I was in the veggie garden, checking the seedlings- is that one a spinach? It\u2019s the only one, if it is &#8211; and suddenly, seeing the boat, \u00a0a peculiar rage came upon me.<\/p>\n<p><em>Go home<\/em>, I wanted to shout. <em>Don\u2019t bring your germs here.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I waved to a man at the cockpit with one hand, my spade in the other.<\/p>\n<p>After a while, he saw me and waved back.<\/p>\n<p>What came out of my mouth, thank goodness, was perfectly civil.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You\u2019re going the wrong way,&#8221; I shouted across the water. &#8220;You should be over there- pointing to the chanel- &#8220;over here, you\u2019ll get stuck.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>His voice came across the water to me, the tone of a man who sees women as not quite part of humanity, but more as absurd animals. I could tell English was not his birth language.<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;We are not afraid of sharks.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I raged inwardly again at his silliness &#8211; sharks haven&#8217;t been seen here since 1911- but I&#8217;d started this and had to continue.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It\u2019s not the sharks,&#8221; I shouted, not bothering with explaining the bay&#8217;s history to him. &#8220;But the low tides get very low, with mud, and oyster leases under water that&#8217;ll damage your hull it you run into them&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>He conferred with someone below decks. A pause followed.<\/p>\n<p>In a more respectful tone, he shouted back:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Why do we women always have these irritating encounters?<\/p>\n<p>Later, the boat was tied up to the far side of the bay, where the horrific storm of two months ago wrecked a jetty. Four other boats soonarrived, and a generator was roaring, though here it was just a muted groaning. \u00a0We saw their lanterns swing as they worked long into the night, sawing off the ruined jetty. And this morning, there\u2019s a new pontoon. Perhaps we\u2019re to get neighbours.- sometime.<\/p>\n<p>Last night, we heard on the news that F and S were right to flee \u2013 a lockdown is in place all over NSW. No one is allowed to leave their homes except with a good reason- medical, exercise and shopping. Otherwise, large fines &#8211; $1000, or $11,000. The roads are being policed. Not just over Easter, no, longer but it\u2019ll be reviewed in a month.<\/p>\n<p>But M, a neighbour I\u2019ve scarcely spoken to, five or so houses away, has arrived with his wife, who I&#8217;ve never spoken to. They&#8217;ve made it through the roadblocks. He\u2019s struggling with emphysema, so it\u2019s essential \u00a0for him to be here, if he can stay warm enough. He has a man friend, but he doesn&#8217;t seem to be there. He&#8217;s rumoured to be cranky but perhaps that&#8217;s ill-founded. I first wondered about \u00a0the truth of it when we bonded briefly over a burning off that went wrong, three years ago. The firemen, after struggling all day with fires that got out of hand, finally left at 8pm utterly exhausted, assuring us that it would burn itself out. \u00a0M and I were doubtful and we agreed to stay in our boats with our phones. \u00a0Occasionally we ran down our jetties towards each other on the shore and conferred whether it was now that we should call the fire brigade for help. We mustn\u2019t get the timing wrong, or \u00a0we\u2019d be seen as crying wolf. At about 11pm, when a lit tree, for all the world like a fire cracker, fell upright down the cliff and fire began racing towards the houses- F and S\u2019s house, in fact &#8211; we knew the time had come, and hang the brigade for help. Help came suddenly and effectively. We know, though no one else knows, that if M and I hadn\u2019t stayed up that night, our community might\u2019ve burned down.<\/p>\n<p>So now with the ban, \u00a0we three can\u2019t go back to our little flats in the city. Perhaps we&#8217;re here forever. Forever. that word isn&#8217;t as thrilling as it was in March. Does it have a ring of doom?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I want a cake with a candle,&#8221; K had said yesterday, when we&#8217;d asked sadly what she&#8217;d like for her birthday. She knows how hard it is for a cook like me to make cake for her. \u00a0gluten free. Sugar free. Everything free. &#8220;A biscuit will do&#8221;, she added, seeing me frown. \u00a0&#8220;And you singing to me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So I attempt a cake, mixing \u00a0the gluten-free flours I&#8217;ve collected over the years- we&#8217;re both celiacs, it&#8217;s in our genes, way back to our Spanish ancestors- I find the end of a jar of green banana flour, tapioca, lots of buckwheat, and, joy, brown mesquite flour for sweetness. I find baking powder \u00a0with an expiry date 2012, and keep my fingers crossed. \u00a0I break in two eggs to make it hang together, a cup of coconut oil, and enough fizzy mineral water to turn it sloppy and help it rise, if it has any inclination to do so. Spices of cardamon, cloves and in the back of the cupboard, and, merrily without weevils, cocoa nibs.<\/p>\n<p>GG pulls it out of the oven while I read a student&#8217;s work. He&#8217;s a master of cake timing, know ing that a knife blade must come out clean.<\/p>\n<p>Although for a candle we have only a long match, the cake is a wild success. Our voices ring out raucously \u00a0over the bay, starting the fish we never catch.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Will you be able to make another one?&#8221; ask GG.<\/p>\n<p>So \u00a0I say wisely that no man ever steps into the same river twice. \u00a0It&#8217;s amazing how a cake can change everything. We&#8217;re together, warm, dry, alive and safe, and it seems, co-vid free. And now on top of it all, a kitchen bench almost made.(The bricks and logs are to make the glue work).<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92590394_529788987956609_591322034932285440_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-1536 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92590394_529788987956609_591322034932285440_n-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92590394_529788987956609_591322034932285440_n-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/92590394_529788987956609_591322034932285440_n.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written 9 April, 2020. Today is K\u2019s birthday. Every year on this day I have a clear memory, like a vision, of the golden champagne moment I first saw her on my tummy, on all fours or perhaps she\u2019d collapsed \u00a0after her journey down the birth canal like a dazed swimmer on a beach. In [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Day 21 - Sue Woolfe - author, Australia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/suewoolfe.com.au\/pages\/day-21\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Day 21 - Sue Woolfe - author, Australia\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Written 9 April, 2020. Today is K\u2019s birthday. Every year on this day I have a clear memory, like a vision, of the golden champagne moment I first saw her on my tummy, on all fours or perhaps she\u2019d collapsed \u00a0after her journey down the birth canal like a dazed swimmer on a beach. 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