Written 14 September, 2020
Who could predict it? There’s so much fury from the federal government towards Queensland and Victorian premiers over border closures- they are both being especially strict- that now the Queensland Chief Health Officer is getting death threats! and needs constant police guarding! I suppose someone, driven to the point of madness with the lockdowns, thought they’d help the federal government out! The Chief Medical Officer says she works from 5am to 10pm every day assessing individual requests one by one, whether people’s requests for exemptions meet guidelines. But It seems every government, both state and federal, has weird discrepancies in what they allow. The federal government has refused to let thousands leave the country, but suddenly allows Tony Abbott to go to London, and a rich man to go to collect his luxury yacht in Europe and buy real estate. Who can suss the reasoning behind government decisions. It’s dangerous to imagine we can. And 25,000 Australians aren’t allowed to come home. Only 2000 allowed a week.
As for me, in my bed, I’m finding it very hard to lie around like the doctors say I must. Yet when I go out, my feet drag on the footpath as I try to throw my weight from one foot to the other. It’s never been hard before. i’m a tango dancer! And GG gets impatient with me. I’ve done the same to him when his back is sore and he’s slow. Waiting, tapping my foot, sighing. Not quite rolling my eyes, but almost. I am so ashamed. I will never do that again.
One of my favourite people, my friend in New York, in horror, gave me a stiff lecture about resting, after reading what I was doing, the day before hospital, only going to it because I kept falling asleep. (Day 168, 167) I must not go back to the river to work.
We cannot afford to lose you.
Oh Shelley- your care has me weeping.
But how can I, as someone else said “leave the leaves” ? In twenty years, I’ve never found anyone who’d come up the river for an hour in a boat to help us fire-safe, but now, horrified, chastened – what if GG had found me dead?- I try for the hundredth time, different people now, begging Chad the tree lopper (Day 136) and a real-estate agent that T told me about, for this real estate agent lets out an airBnB here…. And success at last! someone who works for the air BnB and knows our bay! He’ll check out the problem this week! Maybe start on Friday!
After his zoom lesson, my tango teacher rings to see why I didn’t attend. He tells me that his friend happened to find a letter dropped on the footpath, addressed to a nearby doctor and not being busy, she decided to deliver it herself. While she was talking to the receptionist, pains came in her chest. The doctor immediately sent her to hospital. She’d been about to have a heart attack, and like me, unexpectedly came out with a stent.
Stents are fashionable, he says. We joke that I’ll wear a t-shirt “I have a stent”. I laugh a lot. I’ve been so aghast at my mortality, so ashamed of my recklessness.
He’s Sri Lankan and loves cooking. I tell him my Indian doctor says the Western diet causes heart problems. So he’ll send me recipes for SriLankan food.
Good for the heart, he says.
For the first time since the hospital, I go to bed at peace.