Day 180

Written 20th September, 2020.


Today, my dear friend R comes for the weekend. I was told not to exert myself for 6 days, but this is the 7th day.  With fire safeing to do, with showing R the magic of this bay, with helping her untangle herself for a few minutes from her many worries- a full-time job, a full-time mother, a difficult, inscrutable husband and twin teenagers….I’ll exert myself and do us both good.

Still wordless, though.


Before we left, I guiltily vacuumed the upper house, leaving the cabin because she’d hardly notice the cabin. Guiltily because I’m simply not clean enough. My mother said I’d never get a husband, i was so untidy and dirty. I wouldn’t want her to think that.

But the motor roared as we boated through a grey morning to collect her from the station. I hope it will be sunny for her. You never know what’s behind a mist.


To hug or not to hug? With some friends, you just trust. We hugged, and boated home in the sunshine.

I want to go for a bush walk, she said.

She’d stayed in Thailand in a luxury hotel in a forest, and her hosts were amazed when she wanted to walk out into it.

Don’t worry- you’ll have bush walks, I said.

For even to make a cup of sarsaparilla tea needs a bush walk.

She chooses the cabin, dirt and all.

And I think, how I’d insulted her, thinking she’d judge me for the dust. As if she was my mum. I’ll try not to do that again. i’ve got a lot of improving to do.





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